Why I would never be a happy Protestant:
-Catholic apologists have won the argument on Sola Fide and Sola Scriptura, and are loaded with patristic and bible quotes to attack with.
-Catholic Historical Theologians show that there is no scriptural way that the Church could fall into universal apostasy for 15 centuries.
-Catholics hold Protestants accountable if they know about Catholicism and choose against it, J.R.R. Tolkien said that to look at the Catholic mass and the Blessed Sacrament and turn your back on it, or call it a mere symbol is ‘calling Christ a liar to his face’. (…I wonder if the apostles telling Jesus he wasn’t a door, a gate, or a vine, were lying to his face)
-If I were ever to go Protestant again Philip Wilson would drive to Canada and kill me on the place where the Altar should be in said Protestant ‘ecclesial community’ (church?)
Why I will never be a happy Catholic:
-Protestant and Orthodox Church Historians prove that the modern Papacy is complete innovation.
-According to many Protestants for me to convert would be a rejection of the gospel and thus in becoming Catholic I would be falling into apostasy, proving myself unelect, etc.
-I believe the 5 points of Calvinism or at least something very close to them.
-My friends and family are all Protestant.
-I don’t “really” believe everything about Catholicism, I stand with C.S. Lewis in saying that my problem is not their doctrine but that by joining the communion I would automatically approve of every future doctrine. And if the Pope declared that salvation was not Sola Gratia then I’d have to say he was a heretic, no matter what Matthew 16 or St. Cyprian says.
Conclusion:
I have no idea what to do anymore, and am sure that either way the rest of my life will be terribly plagued by doubts and frustration…May God help me…