Yesterday after class I didn’t want to get home earlier because I would have to study for Latin, so I drove her home. It was the first time I’d been in her little area during the day time and it looked alot nicer. (It was the strangest thing though, it was the first town I’ve seen without a Church). Anyway it was a nice drive home and I was listening to Weezer’s Red Album. I really like Heartsongs (I think it’s called that) and 2 other tracks I don’t know the names of. But the country lanes were really nice and peaceful, I felt like I could drive anywhere and was free for a little while.
I got my haircut and it was SO weird having someone get paid to in a shallow sense a. Care about my appearance, and b. Be personally and physically involved in my life. I didn’t think I’d ever get lonely to the point of having the girl cutting my hair be a good point in my day. But such is life. It was only like 10 minutes, and the girl was ugly, but it was just so strange. Now I know why prostitution is probably such a long standing tradition.
Last night I went for a walk and the stars were really bright, but it was almost pitch black out. I did a rosary as I walked and it was really calming. Also when I got to scary parts of the walk it reminded me of what real instinctual danger feels like and made me realize how stupid worrying about school is.
When you focus on your life and just the immediate present at certain moments in your day with all your energy, it’s almost scary how “real” life is. But on the flipside of that, it’s amazing how much I can drift through life just thinking and having my body on autopilot.